Alone Time

Eden’s down for a nap and Tim just took Kate out to the shops to give me some alone time!

Alone time…

What is alone time?

Most days/hours/minutes consist of me being needed. Needed by a 5 month old who nurses on demand…and is very demanding. Needed by a 2 year old who seems to be going through a “mommy only” phase, a whine and cry and “mommy pick you up” phase, especially when the 5 month old needs me. Sometimes it’s nice to feel needed, to be the only one who can calm the tears; most times it’s exhausting and I want to escape…to have some alone time.

Now that it’s presented to me I don’t know what to do. Honestly I have no idea…and I have many ideas.

I don’t want to waste my time on Facebook, maybe I’ll have a nap…but I’m not super tired which means it will take me too long to fall asleep and by the time I do it’s likely Eden will be waking up. It’s probably better if I stay awake…maybe I should bake something! I enjoy baking (and Tim enjoys the results) but then I end up dirtying the dishes and there are still some lunch dishes to wash…I don’t really want to wash dishes.

Maybe I should take advantage of this time and clean off the cluttered desk and book shelf, but no, this is my time and I want to use it doing something for me.

I used to enjoy scrapbooking and I have a lot of crafty supplies, maybe I should make something out of paper, or work on either of the unfinished scrapbooks I have stored away. It’s likely that Eden will wake up and want to get involved and I’m not really willing to sacrifice my expensive paper to scribbles and tears. Besides, crafting something takes time and I don’t really have much of that on my side. By the time I would get my supplies laid out I would have to put them away.

I decide to get caught up on a favourite blog I haven’t read in a while. I read a few posts and feel myself getting drawn in, but I don’t want to be sitting in the same spot when Tim returns. He’ll think I just wasted my alone time online. So I close it.

Maybe I should drink a cup of tea and enjoy a piece of 85% cocoa dark chocolate that Tim bought for me the other day. Hum, I don’t really feel like tea and I don’t like the guilt associated with eating chocolate.

Maybe I should do some exercise or yoga stretches, that would make me feel better about myself…

Maybe I should hang up that load of diapers that just finished in the wash.

Maybe I should read the bible and have a quite time with God.

Maybe I should wash those lunch dishes and get started on supper.

I already went through Kate’s clothes today, removed the too-small ones and replaced them with ones that almost fit; at least that’s done.

Maybe I should sit out in the sun and get some Vitamin D.

Maybe I should weed the garden for Tim, wouldn’t that make him happy?

Now I’m feeling more like taking a nap…but Tim’s probably going to be home any minute and Kate will want to nurse, and of course Eden will wake up just as I’m drifting off…

…mmmmm sleep. Just heard Eden chatting to herself and then the garage door open. I guess I dozed off after all. I hate that I feel mildly guilty for sleeping, like I wasted that precious alone time, but it felt so good….

The diapers still need to be hung, supper still needs to be started, the desk organized, babies fed, diapers changed, toddler comforted. Maybe it was sleep that I needed after all.

Early morning view from our cabin in Pemberton, WA

Do you have this problem of  what to do with alone time?  If you’re lucky enough to get some, that is….

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3 thoughts on “Alone Time

  1. Great post, Kathryn! I don’t have children, but I still find it tough to make the most out of my alone time. Often I go through the same thought process you describe here. Back and forth on ideas until, before you know it, the time has elapsed and you’re back to the grind. I worry I’ve squandered my alone time (and admittedly sometimes I have), but like you say, it’s your time to do with it what you will. Sounds like that extra sleep was just what the doctor ordered. Hope you’re feeling better rested!

  2. Loved this commentary, Kathryn…it reminds me of the story of the woman who got up from the couch and said she was going to bed; on her way, one thing led to another, then to another….an hour later she was still doing little tasks, when her husband stood up, stretched, turned off the tv and said “good night” and off he went to bed. We can always think up more than enough things to fill up those “empty” spaces! Here’s a promise for some “alone time” just for you, and for you and Tim together, when I come to visit 🙂 Luv, Doreen (Mom C) xoxo

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