Luxury Sports Cars: The Ultimate Sign of Failure

Living in a relatively big city, I see a lot of things I didn’t get to see much of back in East Coast Canada: skyscrapers, homeless people, entire neighbourhoods full of multimillion dollar houses, and luxury sports cars like Lamborghinis and Porsches all over the streets downtown.  Most of the time, they’re driven by young to middle-aged men, and when I see them I can’t help but shake my head in pity.  We naturally associate these cars with successful people, since they cost a lot of money, but let me explain why I think the possession of a luxury sports car is one of the surest signs of failure in our society.

Saw one of these today on my way home. Not impressed.

1) Values – if you’re willing to spend exorbitant amounts of money on a vehicle, what does that say about where your values lie?  The only reasons I can think of to buy a car like this are pride (status, attention, recognition), selfishness (only thinking or caring about oneself) or boredom (just for fun, distraction).   There is a remote possibility you will actually need 430 horsepower to outrun a tornado at some point in your life, but let’s be honest; these cars are not purchased out of necessity, ever.  If you’re putting your own pride or boredom above the needs of everything and everyone else that could benefit from your success, it’s a pretty sad statement of your values.  I would like to think that a truly successful person would retain enough of their empathy and compassions (fundamentals of humanity?) to spend their excess cash on the welfare of other men and women in need.  At the very least they could donate to PETA, if they really dislike people.

2) Relationships – luxury sports cars hardly ever have more than 2 seats.  2 seats!  What good is that if you have any friends or family?  When I have something great in my life, I want to share it with the people I love, and sometimes even the ones I just like.  Also, sometimes the people I feel obliged to share with but don’t particularly like (don’t worry, you’re not one of them).  When you buy a fancy car with only one other seat, you’ve already limited the share-ability of it to just one person at a time.  What does that say about you?  Hopefully not that you’ve worked so hard to make your money that there’s nobody left in your life to share with.

Oh, but you already have a family car that you drive when you need more space?  Maybe even an Astro van, like my family used to have?  Well, I’m sorry, but that means I have nowhere else to place you but in category one: selfish and/or bored.

The Chevrolet Astro - for people who don't use birth control

3) I think I had a third point in mind, but it’s late, and 2 points are enough.

The way I see it, investing $100k into a chunk of metal or carbon fiber on wheels is equivalent to confessing that you are – at best – a selfish and proud person who values your own status and comfort over the well-being of everyone else, or – at worst – a lonely one whose dedication to ‘success’ has resulted in alienation from your own kind, to the extent that you do not foresee any need for more than one passenger in your car.

Some of you may be thinking, “but there are people out there who make heaps of money, drive sports cars, and also donate millions to charities – don’t they deserve to treat themselves to something like a luxury car?”

No, I honestly don’t think so.  I have no compassion for the wealthy.  Why not buy an Elantra (I will concede the luxury of a remote starter if you’re in Canada), donate the extra $85,000 to the MS society or Habitat for Humanity, and then buy yourself a Cadbury Cream Egg.  That’s what God – or one of his subordinates – made them for; those times when you feel like you deserve a treat.  Trust me, you’ll be happier you went with the Cream Egg in the end, and you’re less likely to kill yourself using it, as long as it’s consumed in moderation.

Ahhh, I’m glad I got that off my chest.  So next time you see a balding man roll up to a red light in his oversized, overpriced hot wheels car, leave your admiring gaze behind and join me in bowing my head for a moment of pity.  And if I ever become wealthy enough that a switch turns on (or off) in my brain and I forget all this, please email me the link to this post.  Better yet, if you see me driving a Ferrari, just kill me.


9 thoughts on “Luxury Sports Cars: The Ultimate Sign of Failure

  1. Tim, you are leaving out one group of people – those that truly appreciate the engineering that goes into some (not all) sports cars. These are the people that marvel at the physics of the aerodynamic design and the precision or the engine, they probably have had a fascination with high performance vehicles since they were kids and to now to be able to own one is like a dream come true. This group of people are usually the ones that came from very little and have worked very hard to be able to afford the item they have always dreamed about, they are usually the ones that do good with their money too and give a lot back to society.

    It’s the young kids driving about in these cars that I pity, the ones whose parents bought them their first Porsche at 16. I pity them because they will go through life never really appreciating anything and having no idea how satisfying it is to work hard to achieve something.

    • It’s a stretch for me to accept, but maybe you’re right. There could really be some people out there who are fulfilling a dream by getting one of these cars, so maybe that’s good for them. Still, I kind of wish they’d dreamt bigger! I just think it’s one of many markets we could do without.

  2. Oh Tim, you are awesome!! share, share share!! I have often thought the same thing, except I usually think it as I am driving through the old, beautiful neighborhoods in Calgary and see the old character houses being torn down to build what I call “yuppie housing”. Damian and I can’t help but noticing normal housing disappearing and mansions going up everywhere. Why? Unless you are the Duggar family what possible need is there for a 6000 sq foot house in life? Especially when to pay for this ridiculous monstrosity you would likely work 70 hours a week and thus are never in it. It makes me angry actually. I don’t have anything against living in a nice house, but if even a small percentage of the cost of those houses went to the homeless in this city, or to help the disenfranchised, what a different city this would be. Calgary has sadly become a city of ” mine is bigger than yours” and I can’t believe the incredible numbers of mansions here now. It seems no neighborhood is a normal size anymore…. Doesnt make me enthused about having to move into the city in a few years….
    Anyway, well said! It is. Nice to know there are people out there who also notice how rediculous sad and unbalanced things are.

  3. I also feel anger and pity for these people. And I pity the starving children that the car could have fed or the aid it could have provided. I once spoke to a man at a gas station who drove in with a Lamborghini. I am ashamed to say I boosted his pride by telling him it was a nice car. He glanced over at me and gave me a look that made me feeling like nothing, shrugged his shoulders and arrogantly said, “it’s just a car” I had to bite my tonuge from retorting, “It is obvioulsy not ‘just a car’ or you wouldn’t have paid so much money for it. It obviously means so much more to you than that.”

  4. Love your blog Tim. I never have, or ever will, even own a new car. let alone a sports car. You are right in your thoughts. Funny enough its only been the last few weeks that occasionly having put 20 dollars of gas in the car I have overindulged and brought myself and which ever child is sitting next to me on one of the many taxi runs …………wait for it……….a Cadburys cream egg.

  5. Ahhh, the fond memories brought to mind of that Astro van (transporting not just one, but two families to church every Sunday), and the K car with the doors that froze open in winter, and other such “luxury” cars 🙂 I share your sentiments, Tim, and yours as well, Kimberley, re the houses…and there are a few others things that could be added to the list…like expensive jewellry. “If I had a million dollars”….just think what could be done!

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