Living in a relatively big city, I see a lot of things I didn’t get to see much of back in East Coast Canada: skyscrapers, homeless people, entire neighbourhoods full of multimillion dollar houses, and luxury sports cars like Lamborghinis and Porsches all over the streets downtown. Most of the time, they’re driven by young to middle-aged men, and when I see them I can’t help but shake my head in pity. We naturally associate these cars with successful people, since they cost a lot of money, but let me explain why I think the possession of a luxury sports car is one of the surest signs of failure in our society.
1) Values – if you’re willing to spend exorbitant amounts of money on a vehicle, what does that say about where your values lie? The only reasons I can think of to buy a car like this are pride (status, attention, recognition), selfishness (only thinking or caring about oneself) or boredom (just for fun, distraction). There is a remote possibility you will actually need 430 horsepower to outrun a tornado at some point in your life, but let’s be honest; these cars are not purchased out of necessity, ever. If you’re putting your own pride or boredom above the needs of everything and everyone else that could benefit from your success, it’s a pretty sad statement of your values. I would like to think that a truly successful person would retain enough of their empathy and compassions (fundamentals of humanity?) to spend their excess cash on the welfare of other men and women in need. At the very least they could donate to PETA, if they really dislike people.
2) Relationships – luxury sports cars hardly ever have more than 2 seats. 2 seats! What good is that if you have any friends or family? When I have something great in my life, I want to share it with the people I love, and sometimes even the ones I just like. Also, sometimes the people I feel obliged to share with but don’t particularly like (don’t worry, you’re not one of them). When you buy a fancy car with only one other seat, you’ve already limited the share-ability of it to just one person at a time. What does that say about you? Hopefully not that you’ve worked so hard to make your money that there’s nobody left in your life to share with.
Oh, but you already have a family car that you drive when you need more space? Maybe even an Astro van, like my family used to have? Well, I’m sorry, but that means I have nowhere else to place you but in category one: selfish and/or bored.
3) I think I had a third point in mind, but it’s late, and 2 points are enough.
The way I see it, investing $100k into a chunk of metal or carbon fiber on wheels is equivalent to confessing that you are – at best – a selfish and proud person who values your own status and comfort over the well-being of everyone else, or – at worst – a lonely one whose dedication to ‘success’ has resulted in alienation from your own kind, to the extent that you do not foresee any need for more than one passenger in your car.
Some of you may be thinking, “but there are people out there who make heaps of money, drive sports cars, and also donate millions to charities – don’t they deserve to treat themselves to something like a luxury car?”
No, I honestly don’t think so. I have no compassion for the wealthy. Why not buy an Elantra (I will concede the luxury of a remote starter if you’re in Canada), donate the extra $85,000 to the MS society or Habitat for Humanity, and then buy yourself a Cadbury Cream Egg. That’s what God – or one of his subordinates – made them for; those times when you feel like you deserve a treat. Trust me, you’ll be happier you went with the Cream Egg in the end, and you’re less likely to kill yourself using it, as long as it’s consumed in moderation.
Ahhh, I’m glad I got that off my chest. So next time you see a balding man roll up to a red light in his oversized, overpriced hot wheels car, leave your admiring gaze behind and join me in bowing my head for a moment of pity. And if I ever become wealthy enough that a switch turns on (or off) in my brain and I forget all this, please email me the link to this post. Better yet, if you see me driving a Ferrari, just kill me.